I know you guys all look forward to this time of the year, what for I dread to think.
You all seem to be running around, here there and everywhere and getting nowhere fast. Only humans can think up such strange goings on and derive pleasure from so much hard work for little in return.
As part of these strange proceedings He went away for the day last Friday the 25th and left me all by myself for more than 13 hours. Now I know what you are thinking and before you “kick off” about Him leaving in the home without any company to look after me for such a long time. It was fantastic being able to do whatever I wished, (mostly sleep).
Somehow the lady next door knew He was out for the day and popped around every now and then to let me out into the garden and give me a chew stick on my return. Such a nice lady and she looks after me better than He does every time HE goes away. Mean old sob never gives me a chew stick or any sort of treat as a matter of fact without my first begging. It’s SO humiliating!
From what I overheard when He has been on the phone to His friends, it seems He drove “up north” for the day, all 133 miles each way just to see His family who had all congregated to be part of young Thomas’s first Christmas. I mean what a bunch of Muppets they must have looked all huddled around the baby like a rugby scrum gone wrong each transfixed and “clicking away” with their mobile phones set to “photo”... how sad can one get? It must be what is meant by “Pack mentality.”
Well He’s back home and things are back to normal for want of a better word, so before I log off for another week I would like to wish you all a Very Happy New Year!
Be Happy
Salvador
Thursday 31 December 2009
Thursday 24 December 2009
Mind the step PLEASE!
That’s it, I have had enough ... it’s time to have Him locked up and the key thrown away! It has to be the best thing we can do for Him. The man has gone and “pushed the envelope” of reality just that much too far.
I know, I hear you ask... What am I kicking off for? Well let me tell you everything.
There I was on Sunday night taking “five” snug in my arm chair when suddenly and without any warning what so ever there was this almighty crash followed in quick succession by a very loud bang and ending in a string of four lettered expletives. The old fart had fallen over His own two feet while carrying his supper on a try from the kitchen.He needs help, all He can get if you ask me.
Supper went to the East of the kitchen passed the radiator followed by His lordship, while at the same time knocking the clotheshorse in a Southey direction just missing impinging its self on the sink taps. Laying there prostrate with His stuffed vine leaves, humus and pita half on the plate and the remainder on the floor I felt it best to stay cool and do the best thing. Hide!it normally works.
I have stated here once before that humans must find it hard with only two legs to rely on and this is the result. He took a fall and went to bed in pain and I had his supper. Tell me He is the smart one, why don’t you ?
Silly old fart.
Have a wonderful Christmas and do remember us pets.
Salvador
I know, I hear you ask... What am I kicking off for? Well let me tell you everything.
There I was on Sunday night taking “five” snug in my arm chair when suddenly and without any warning what so ever there was this almighty crash followed in quick succession by a very loud bang and ending in a string of four lettered expletives. The old fart had fallen over His own two feet while carrying his supper on a try from the kitchen.He needs help, all He can get if you ask me.
Supper went to the East of the kitchen passed the radiator followed by His lordship, while at the same time knocking the clotheshorse in a Southey direction just missing impinging its self on the sink taps. Laying there prostrate with His stuffed vine leaves, humus and pita half on the plate and the remainder on the floor I felt it best to stay cool and do the best thing. Hide!it normally works.
I have stated here once before that humans must find it hard with only two legs to rely on and this is the result. He took a fall and went to bed in pain and I had his supper. Tell me He is the smart one, why don’t you ?
Silly old fart.
Have a wonderful Christmas and do remember us pets.
Salvador
Thursday 17 December 2009
Righ here, Right Now!
Let me state right here and now.....
I am not at fault;
I was only trying to get HIS attention. It was not very warm, in fact the temperature had dropped to near zero and I had been locked out in the garden.
Yes! You heard me correctly; I said LOCKED out in the mid day freezing cold, and when you only have short legs like yours truly certain parts of one’s anatomy tend to be too close to the frosty ground for comfort, I’ll have you know. And I cannot hear anyone indoors.
Barking after all is the only way of me attracting “His” attention.
However it seems that the “so and so” had gone to the post office for a few stamps... “What about me! I shall be okay in this freezing cold while he wonders off without any consideration for me”
Mrs “H” from over the back, (such a nice lady) was trying to have some “chill out time” after a hard day's work looking after the old ladies and gents on our road... what a wonderful job she does., but my constant yapping was not going down well with her, so it seems.
Turns out that when "His Lordship" got back from picking up his stamps combined a stop over to natter to his buddy Mike on His return. They have been known to spend forever putting the world to right... silly old farts!
Meanwhile Mrs “H” was waiting for Him, (she was not a happy bunny by the sound of it) and boy oh boy! did he get a mouth full for leaving me outside all alone on such a cold day…. I could hear Mrs “H” shouting at Him. He! He! He! He!
Sorry, but it is oh so funny!
That will teach him!
Love
Salvador
I am not at fault;
I was only trying to get HIS attention. It was not very warm, in fact the temperature had dropped to near zero and I had been locked out in the garden.
Yes! You heard me correctly; I said LOCKED out in the mid day freezing cold, and when you only have short legs like yours truly certain parts of one’s anatomy tend to be too close to the frosty ground for comfort, I’ll have you know. And I cannot hear anyone indoors.
Barking after all is the only way of me attracting “His” attention.
However it seems that the “so and so” had gone to the post office for a few stamps... “What about me! I shall be okay in this freezing cold while he wonders off without any consideration for me”
Mrs “H” from over the back, (such a nice lady) was trying to have some “chill out time” after a hard day's work looking after the old ladies and gents on our road... what a wonderful job she does., but my constant yapping was not going down well with her, so it seems.
Turns out that when "His Lordship" got back from picking up his stamps combined a stop over to natter to his buddy Mike on His return. They have been known to spend forever putting the world to right... silly old farts!
Meanwhile Mrs “H” was waiting for Him, (she was not a happy bunny by the sound of it) and boy oh boy! did he get a mouth full for leaving me outside all alone on such a cold day…. I could hear Mrs “H” shouting at Him. He! He! He! He!
Sorry, but it is oh so funny!
That will teach him!
Love
Salvador
Friday 11 December 2009
Boxes! Boxes! Everywhere!
Here we are again Gang!
Since the last blabbing from yours truly his lordship has, I am sure “flipped”.
Yes lost the plot! Gone off the rails! And has completely fallen out of his pram!
There are boxes and boxes of "stuff" all over the front room, the hall way and the kitchen can’t move for the bloody things, they are everywhere! I dread to think what the bedroom looks like?
Why oh why did he have to order so much stock, well that’s humans for you. They are strange thing, aren’t they?
Everything they do is done on two legs... how cute of them; you won’t get me standing on only two legs. I’ll stick to my four on the floor every time. Mind you He who lives with me tends to every now and then get down on all fours; I don’t think it suites Him.... all the huffing and puffing combined with some four letter expletive dilative to all in sundry. Doesn’t seem to work and I am glad when he finally manages to climb back to an upright position.
Anyway back to the subject in paw, THAT’S MY PACE PAL! He has filled that too, nowhere to lie down and roll over onto my back without a box up my “ask no questions told no lies”.
Boxes! Boxes! Everywhere! And not the smallest space for me!
This has to stop and the sooner the better!
Till the next time
Salvador
Since the last blabbing from yours truly his lordship has, I am sure “flipped”.
Yes lost the plot! Gone off the rails! And has completely fallen out of his pram!
There are boxes and boxes of "stuff" all over the front room, the hall way and the kitchen can’t move for the bloody things, they are everywhere! I dread to think what the bedroom looks like?
Why oh why did he have to order so much stock, well that’s humans for you. They are strange thing, aren’t they?
Everything they do is done on two legs... how cute of them; you won’t get me standing on only two legs. I’ll stick to my four on the floor every time. Mind you He who lives with me tends to every now and then get down on all fours; I don’t think it suites Him.... all the huffing and puffing combined with some four letter expletive dilative to all in sundry. Doesn’t seem to work and I am glad when he finally manages to climb back to an upright position.
Anyway back to the subject in paw, THAT’S MY PACE PAL! He has filled that too, nowhere to lie down and roll over onto my back without a box up my “ask no questions told no lies”.
Boxes! Boxes! Everywhere! And not the smallest space for me!
This has to stop and the sooner the better!
Till the next time
Salvador
Thursday 3 December 2009
Know it all!
Hi All,
Well since I first set up this strange thing last week I've been itching to get on with the job, but sadly unable to get to the laptop, My house mate is always hogging it working on his web site or in the same room at the same time, and I don’t want him telling me what to put. You know what humans are like, they “ALWAYS know best” ... Yea! Like how good are they at jumping 2.5 times their height without a run up? I can do it from a standing position!
He is out now…. "You look after the house Sal; I'm off to the supermarket, back soon!
"Yea! Like we believe that old chestnut, it's Thursday and he always only shop’s on Saturdays. The fibber! What does he take me for a fool? But as he has gone I shall take this opportunity and get on with what I do best.
I am the brains in this household, who is it that keeps him informed of people approaching the front door, long before they ring the bell, even if they are JUST walking by? What about when pigeons land in the back garden or any sort of bird for that matter (Ha! Ha!). Who is it that gets them to vacate in my own special way? ME! Yours truly! That’s who! And what do I get…lies and a wafer thin coloured tasteless chew on his return if I'm lucky, Ha! Thank you (NOT!) The bald old fart!
I wonder what he is up to. Strange for him, out after dark without someone keeping an eye on him and all dressed up!
Got to go now….. I hear someone walking up the path, might be Him. Talk again. Soon!
Night All,
Salvador.
Well since I first set up this strange thing last week I've been itching to get on with the job, but sadly unable to get to the laptop, My house mate is always hogging it working on his web site or in the same room at the same time, and I don’t want him telling me what to put. You know what humans are like, they “ALWAYS know best” ... Yea! Like how good are they at jumping 2.5 times their height without a run up? I can do it from a standing position!
He is out now…. "You look after the house Sal; I'm off to the supermarket, back soon!
"Yea! Like we believe that old chestnut, it's Thursday and he always only shop’s on Saturdays. The fibber! What does he take me for a fool? But as he has gone I shall take this opportunity and get on with what I do best.
I am the brains in this household, who is it that keeps him informed of people approaching the front door, long before they ring the bell, even if they are JUST walking by? What about when pigeons land in the back garden or any sort of bird for that matter (Ha! Ha!). Who is it that gets them to vacate in my own special way? ME! Yours truly! That’s who! And what do I get…lies and a wafer thin coloured tasteless chew on his return if I'm lucky, Ha! Thank you (NOT!) The bald old fart!
I wonder what he is up to. Strange for him, out after dark without someone keeping an eye on him and all dressed up!
Got to go now….. I hear someone walking up the path, might be Him. Talk again. Soon!
Night All,
Salvador.
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